The stress that is Linus

Linus is our cat. He is named after one of the most manipulative characters in history, Benjamin Linus from Lost. His name suits him well.

Every morning he scratches at our bedroom door within an hour of when I am supposed to get up. I am a light sleeper, so the second he starts the scratching, I wake up. Rachel is like a rock and doesn't budge. Sometimes I can get back to sleep after he gives up the scratching, but sometimes it's so close to the real time I am supposed to be up that I just lay there.

Once I am up, I take a shower and Linus sits on the bathtub ledge looking into the shower at the water. I don't know what it is about water, but he LOVES watching it go down the drain or run down the shower curtain. Sometimes though, he gets adventurous and decides that he wants to try and get into the shower with me. This has happened a handful of times, and the outcome is always humorous. He will jump in, start getting soaked and look for a way out. Then, because the shower curtain is in the way, he will have trouble getting out so I have to reach down and pick him up, dripping wet, and put him on the bathroom floor. Normally he is nowhere to be seen for about a grand total of two minutes, and then BAM, he is back on the ledge watching the water, licking his soaking wet self.

After the shower, I brush my teeth and whatnot, and he once again shows his interest in water (I swear, the cat should be a friggin' plumber or something) by jumping up on the counter and watching the water in the sink. Once I am finished brushing my teeth, and the water drains, he jumps into the sink to lick up the remnants. Sometimes he doesn't wait until I am finished and jumps into the sink while the water is still running, once again getting soaked.

After all of this is done, I need to get dressed, and the fun continues with Linus. We have closets in out apartment that bend when you open them (like an accordion). Linus loves them, but they're dangerous as hell. As soon as I open them, he sticks his paws in the tracking part of the closet and then moves his paws to the opening where the closet bends. Crazy cat. Next, while I am picking out my outfit, he loves climbing into the closet and playing with my belt, which hangs from a hanger. Then he hides in the littlest nook and waits. Because the closet is so dangerous and he is so interested in it, I have to lure him out of it before I attempt to close it. That can be a chore in itself since he sometimes sits there looking at me dangling a toy thinking "haha, you want me out of this closet so that you can continue with your morning. I know this, AND I am going to sit here and be cute and look at you with big eyes. I won't of course jump out of the closet until you least expect it, and then I will claw your hands at the same time." Those reading might say "why don't you just lock him out of the room with the closet?" Well, if I did that then he would scratch at our bedroom door and wake up Rachel. And besides, he is just so darn cute.

After I am done getting dressed, he bolts all over the apartment and wants to play. Uh, sorry bud, I have to go to work. I prepare my coffee and grab my lunch while dodging him as he jumps at my legs or attacks my shoes.

Then, it's time to deal with ANOTHER closet, the one with my jacket in it. Normally it's not too tough to get him out of this closet because it's small, and there are not many places for him to hide.

Finally, I am ready to leave, which is also known as "pick up a toy and throw it and then race to the door before he tries to get out". Lately Rachel has been there to pick him up, which allows me to slip out easily. But, when she leaves she has to deal with him trying to go out the door, and it stresses her out as well.

He is only a kitten, and all of this behavior is normal/cute. One day he will just plop himself on the floor in the mornings and not move until he is fed, and I will miss the days of him taking a shower with me, or trying to attack my pants leg. Rachel said her friend Jen has a crazy cat like Linus (John Locke??) and that the cat is 8 years old and still hasn't grown out of the craziness. Oh joy...

His name is Linus and he's crazy.